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PROTECTOR/PROTECTED

There’s no real push to your actions; you do them as if they were second nature. Perhaps, initially, you were assigned this role, as protector and guardian of this person. Maybe you took it on because there was no one else. A natural guardian or not, good or evil, you caught a shining to them and felt…something. Something hard to explain, but you want to keep them safe and happy - or at the very least, content. No one is as dedicated to them as you. You want them to reach their goals; to help them achieve them, you'll do what you must, even if it means being their gofer or their right hand.

But most of all, you don't want them to end up like you. They're worth more than that.

Yet somehow, along the line, you became more to them, more than just their protector. You protect them anew and you've found a different way to make them happy. It's selfish, too, because you love them in your way and you want them more than anything. You may feel guilty, of course. They don't, though, and that's what matters.

Comment with your character, preferences, and what you'd prefer to play: protector or protected.
Remember, you don't have to be so rigid. A traditionally weak character can "protect" a traditionally strong one in emotional ways.
Reply to others.

( PROMPTS UNDER HERE )

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Daily Happiness

1. A lot of times when Carla goes back to visit her folks, she doesn't get time to hang out with her cousins aside from specific family gatherings where they're just hanging out at the house, but this time she went into Chicago today with one cousin and they went to a museum and got lunch, and yesterday she went with both cousins to a record store.

2. Work was kind of stressful today (just when I think the drama and issues at this one store are finally dealt with, I have three more issues pop up today) but I had a nice evening at Disneyland to make up for it.

3. Chloe and Gemma and Ikea Shark are having a party and you're not invited.

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disney

2025 Disneyland Trip #39 (6/10/25)

Took an after work trip to Disneyland for dinner. Traffic was not bad at all getting down there (and even better getting home) and as of this week both the lower level pass holders are blocked out, so the crowds are lighter. Nice weather, too!

( Read more... )

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What I'm Reading: Hello Darkness, vol. 1 (2025)

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

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Currently reading/watching/making - Part II

Ok. I’m back to talk about the other shows I watched last week.

There’s not much left until Break Up Service ends, and I still haven’t seen this week’s episode. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t bored me a little, but I think I’m still invested enough to want to know how the story wraps up. At first, I was only annoyed by the concept of the fictional company Break Up Service, but now, with how things have unfolded in the last few episodes, even the rival company, Destiny, seems pretty questionable, lol. But something I liked in the last episode was that the girl Junior’s character wanted to win back ended up being honest about their relationship and breaking things off. If anything, the series has made me think a lot about romantic relationships and all the mental and emotional effort they require (no wonder I’m single, oops… not that I’m looking for a relationship or anything).

My Stubborn has me hooked. First of all, I’m really enjoying watching Sorn (the walking red flag) paint himself into a corner, because at some point (probably next episode… let it be in the next episode, please, please), he’s gonna have to admit his feelings for Jun (Juin? Jwin?? I don’t even know the right way to romanize his name anymore). I don’t think Sorn’s intention is to hurt him, but he did… And I’m looking forward to seeing Sorn suffer when he realizes he messed up with what he said… and I hope he cries. But that’s just a personal preference. I love watching pretty men cry. On the other hand, I’m surprised by the commitment to high heat… so far, we’ve gotten steamy scenes in every episode. Though I don’t have much to compare it to, since I think this is the Thai BL with the most NC scenes I’ve seen so far. I wonder which others are similar in that regard. Only four more episodes left.

Boys in Love is such a nice Sunday watch, and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t know, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see a lot of my own 15-year-old son’s behavior reflected in how the characters act. Teenagers are, by default, pretty annoying, but that’s normal. Their hormones are a mess, they’re learning to be themselves, they’re adapting to a world where their own role is pretty confusing. I like watching Shane and his inner conflicts, even though it breaks my heart to see him so lost in so many ways. Thankfully, Kit is a boy with a lot of emotional intelligence and always gives him space to work through things, even if he gets conflicted himself. It’d be so nice if most adults were that sensible, lol. Then there’s Mon and his need for acceptance, which also tugs at my heartstrings. Tar annoyed the hell out of me and I was a bit angry at what he did to Per, but in the end they talked about it and they made up. And the teachers… gods, I’m living for the crumbs they’re giving us. But I love their relationship and I want more, give me more… give Podd and Papang their own series!

And last but not least, The Ex-Morning! Only three episodes in, and I’m already hooked. There were some reveals about how certain events happened in Tam and Phi’s relationship, but we still don’t know why they happened that way. What I’m enjoying is the tension between them… even though they’re exes, it’s obvious there are still feelings there. Another thing I really like is how the past scenes are woven into the present; the transitions are well done and don’t feel forced. And on top of all that, Singto… very aesthetically pleasing to look at. Krist is handsome too, but personally, I like Singto more.

Aside from the shows already on my official list, I watched the first episode of Sweetheart Service and thought it was okay. I want to keep watching, but I don’t want to commit to new series because I’ve had really busy days lately and end up exhausted. I also joined a watch party to rewatch Secret Relationships, and that show is still a delightfully toxic, melodramatic mess… so much fun to watch. And rewatching it makes me want to read AUs where the four main characters form an evil polycule, lol.

Anyway, last week I didn’t watch Leap Day, and I didn’t really miss it… I’m not sure if I’ll watch it this week or just wait until the series ends to binge the remaining episodes. I’ll have to think about it because this week and next week are also packed. Sigh.

And that’s it for now.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: somewhere
Current Music: Ebola - Silent Rose

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AKC Courtneyyyyyy Culture Festival #181: Akiyama Yuna

Alongside Yagi Azuki, Akiyama Yuna was one of the members who passed auditions in 2023 to become AKB48’s eighteenth generation. Yunachan tells us that her dream since youth has been to be a member of AKB, that she was a fan of the group since she was five-years-old. If it hadn’t been AKB, she declared, then she would not have auditioned, a statement that underlines her passion and commitment, a girl who grew up watching the Kami 7 on television and striving not to be a part of the idol industry but to be a member of AKB48 itself.

In late April, several weeks after her generation was announced, Doushitemo Kimi ga Suki da was released and, along with it, came the B side, Ano Natsu no Bohatei, performed by members of both the eighteenth and the seventeenth generation. Just like that, the girl who had dreamed of being a member of the group was canonised, the moment preserved for even us overseas fans.

From the details shared by Yunachan about her high school experiences, it’s hard not to think of her as anything but the ideal student—experience as class president and a member of the student council, a basketball team captain in junior high! By all rights, Yunachan should not exist outside of fiction, but with the highest IQ rating in her entire generation, she is decidedly the real deal. In a different world, Yunachan would have employed her intellect in pursuit of a career as a pharmacist, but she claims that joining AKB was a higher priority for her, which both makes me feel as if we have potentially robbed the world of a future Nobel Prize winner, but gosh am I proud to have her as a member of AKB.

Friends, I’m kind of intimidated by this generation, they are all so talented! Yunachan has already taken the centre position in a B side, Machibito, from Yukirin graduation single, Colorcon Wink, released last year. It is crazy to me that members of this generation, hard working as they have proved to be, can have been with us for such a short amount of time and yet have had this kind of impact on the group.

Like many seventeenth and eighteenth generation members, Yunachan is perhaps recognisable to some from her role in the live action of Hoshikuzu Telepath, a series that many care for deeply and one that helped draw attention to the current line-up of AKB. It feels like it shouldn’t be a surprise to find her amongst her peers in the senbatsu for the new single celebrating the group’s anniversary, and as someone who grew up with fierce admiration for what the group was then, I’m really excited to see how Yunachan will interact with the returning members.

I think that a lot of the time it is tempting to consider the Sashihara Rino produced groups as the spirit of what AKB once was, but I kind of relate to Yunachan’s fixation on the idea of AKB remaining the ideal even if the group is so different from what it once was. Maybe that’s a good thing, friends! If anyone can establish a future for AKB it’s members like Yunachan who understand the past yet are not continually looking back to it.

Nominated for Best Newcomer award alongside colleagues from STU48 and NMB48, Akiyama Yuna is undeniably the future of AKB.

Yunachan!

Liiiiiiiar

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

It's an old game, a good way to get to know people, or test how well you know someone you know already. Maybe you have to play, maybe it's just for fun. It doesn't matter; it's time to play.

Post your character to the meme with three facts about themselves, two of which are true, one of which is a lie.
Characters respond with their guesses.
Respond in kind to those who tag you, discuss their guesses.
Tag around and challenge others!

Coffee black

The Coffeehouse Meme

it's a cold day...wherever you are. brrrrr. you are outside, walking around (maybe holiday shopping, or portal jumping, or maybe you clicked a weird pen or phone booth button and landed here. whatever the case, you are now outside a quaint little cafe in New York, right by Central Park, on snowy, December morning. did I mention that it's cold? you walk into the cafe and immediately feel the warmth of the room. there's a fireplace on each side of the little shop, which helps un-nip the frost on your nose. the baristas at the counter great you kindly, and tell you to have a seat and they will send over one of their girls to take your order.

stay a while?

instructions:
1. make a comment (blank or otherwise) with your character's name and canon in the subject. they have entered the cafe. they can leave or stay or even sit down and read a book if they have one on hand. whatever your preference.
2. people respond with their characters meeting others inside the cafe. you can do whatever you want, except fight. oh, arguing is allowed, but sword fights? nope.
3. have fun!!

via:

demisms

Look of loooove

LOOK OF LOVE

Just another fun lil' icon prompt meme.

ONE. Comment with your character and info.

TWO. Use the icon that best represents the expression your character has when they see the person they love most in the universe. You know the look. Smitten. Lovesick. Head-over-heels, they hung the moon and stars.

THREE. Characters reply as if they're the subject of that gaze.

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Conclave made me do it

Cover for Sophie Clark's Cruel is the Light

I first got interested in Sophie Clark's "Cruel is the Light" because the cover is really pretty (art by Mona Finden, art direction by Ben Hughes). I wasn't going to read it because while the marketing said "enemies to lovers" the summary wasn't sound "enemy-ing" enough.

Then the Pope died.

And I thought I'd read a book sent mostly in Rome because I had no idea what to read next, fiction-wise.

Cruel is the Light is... Fine. It's fine. It indeed isn't enemies to lovers, it's more rivals to lovers forbidden love fake dating. The love story isn't unbelievable, anymore than any two week love story is. I guessed both that

from the summary

Jules was a demon

and

from early in the book

the Vatican's god was a demon

but not how those two tied together. There's one image I really liked and might draw at some point, idk. The demon/exorcist worldbuilding reminded me of the manga Claymore. Anyway. I don't regret reading it, but I wasn't going to read the sequel. I'd give it a 13/20. (Disclaimer: I read something like half of it while stuck on a stopped train.)

Then the Pope died.

Ok, in the book he's "Exorcist Primus". Point is they're going to be doing X-Treme Conclave next book and I am intrigued.

Stuff.

Just had a lovely walk with Freya around the park. Met a dog called Elmo, a dog called Fenrir, and a dog called Gus, which cover all three of the platonic ideals of dog naming, 1) this is a muppet, 2) this is a wolf, and 3) this is an elderly human.

Freya and I also took a little trip last weekend up to Inverness to hang out with

tamoline and her wife who were on holiday up there, which was a lot of fun, not least because Freya accidentally tobogganed down their stairs, got herself trapped in their kitchen, and then decided that she wanted to live with them. If you are ever meeting online friends for the first time and are worried that it might be a little awkward I can highly recommend taking a stupid wolf with you as a conversation starter.

I happened to mention to my mum later that I'd gone up north to spend the day with some online friends who were up from England, and after a long pause she said '...I thought your internet friends lived in Germany?' To which I indignantly pointed out that I'm personable, people like me, I have more than one friend; this was met by a more sceptical look than you want from your mother.

We watched the series finale of Doctor Who, to which my reaction was, and still remains, holy, hail Mary pass, Batman! I am generally of the school of thought that spreadsheet dorks are a curse on most forms of entertainment, but I also kind of want to go to the pub with a Disney accountant just so that after, like, three drinks I can go 'So, Doctor Who, how's that math mathing?'

I also have gripes about how heteronormative the finale was, but that's increasingly the new normal, isn't it? I love living through a time of enormous backlash to any and all social progress orchestrated by history's greatest fuckwits.

In gayer news, here are some books that I have been reading:

The Unlikely Pursuit of Mary Bennet by Linz McLeod - Publishing a series of lesbian romances about Jane Austen characters is God's work, so I don't want to criticise it too harshly, not least because as a f/f regency romance it is perfectly delightful, but as a piece of Austen fanfiction it was, eh, Charlotte Lucas felt really true to character, but Mary Bennet could have been anybody, she felt half author's OC, half thinly veiled Lizzie.

That said, I will be picking up next year's The Miseducation of Caroline Bingley as soon as it comes out because God's work.

The Incandescent by Emily Tesh - I was so excited for this because Tesh's previous facist punching novel Some Desperate Glory had easily been my favourite of that year, so I was kind of bummed that I didn't like this one as much. Maybe it was the genre change, instead of sci-fi it was magical realism set at a contemporary magic school; maybe it was my class chippiness, I'm not entirely sure that private school pupils don't deserve to be eaten by demons; maybe it was that it was heavily talked up as having a central f/f relationship, which honestly felt kind of tacked on, while much more time was spent on the het relationship with a dude that the reader realises is the villain, like, a hundred pages before the protagonist.

Like, it's fine, it's good even, my expectations were just a bit out of control. Also, go read Some Desperate Glory.

The Vengeance by Emma Newman - Pirates, and werewolves, and vampires, and lesbians, oh my! Our protagonist has spent her life at sea during the golden age of piracy when she discovers her "mother" is no such thing, and embarks on a fish out of water road trip through pre-revolution France, running from werewolves, kissing girls, and fighting vampires.

Is it a lot? Yes. Is it totally awesome? Also, yes!

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#078. Leather & #010. Black - Super Mario & Corpse Party

Title: Distractions
Rating: G for General
Type: Fan fiction
Word count: 361 words
Prompt: #078 – Leather
Fandom: Super Mario, “Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door”
Ship: Vivian x Goombella
Notes/Warnings: Also written for the prompt “artifact” for

femslashfete.
Summary: Vivian watches as Goombella works on a paper.

Link: AO3

Title: A Game Of Cat And Mouse
Rating: M for Mature
Type: Fan fiction
Word count: 683 words
Prompt: #010 – Black
Fandom: Corpse Party
Ship: Naomi Nakashima x Seiko Shinohara
Notes/Warnings: Canon-typical gore and death involving teenagers. Also written for the prompt “kismet” for

femslashfete.
Summary: There has to be a way to keep her alive. There just has to be a way. And Naomi will find that way—no matter how much it hurts.

Link: AO3

Unlove me

UNLOVEABLE

rules

01. Comment with your character. NO BLANK COMMENTS. Your top-level should include your character's IC reason that they think they're...well, unlovable!

02. See if they're an impartial judge.

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exchange:justmarried

A quick note for me and others

justmarriedexchange nominations close tomorrow (the 10th).

I will almost certainly be signing up for this one, I'm just saying. And you do need three distinct fandoms for this exchange.

*my existing assignments side-eye me*

a b c d e f u

The "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" Meme

You've been suddenly cursed with an affliction! The powers that be in the world have decided to make it so that everyone in the world has a limited amount of words. You have a specific amount you can speak per day, which is awarded by how useful you're judged to be.

💬 Once you're out, you're out, you can't talk until midnight. Of course, there are ways to gain more...

💬 You can convince some hapless sap to give you some of their own or trade services. You can even sell... whatever someone is willing to buy.

💬 Words also happens to be the currency used. Which means that depending on how they were judged, the poor might now be the rich and vica versa. But be careful - you do have a limit, after all!

💬 This can be done as texting or prose - becoming mute doesn't mean you can't text. Any written word stays intact.

( Prompts )

Shipping Picture ♡ ｐｒｏｍｐｔｓ

shipping picture prompts

o1. comment with your character and prefs in a top level.
o2. reply to others, complete with pictures and gifs!
o3. cook up something shippy from those inspirational ingredients.

link 'em:

embed 'em:

shrink 'em:

Suggestively pages you

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

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Daily Happiness

1. A few months ago I started having problems with itunes where every time I tried to add a song to a playlist it froze. I tried a few solutions I found online and nothing worked, so I just stopped listening to music at my desk and basically only listened to it in the car through Apple Music. Finally the other day I just gave up and uninstalled itunes and reinstalled it again, and at first I was really regretting my decision because even after logging in, it wasn't showing any of the music I'd downloaded over the past few years from Apple Music, only my library on my HD, but then I logged out and logged in again and everything showed up, and adding songs to playlists seems to work again, so maybe now I'll actually get back to listening to music at home.

2. There is DLC for Sea of Stars, a whole new quest that I've seen a few reviews say is about eight hours or so of gameplay. I started it the other day and am enjoying it so far. Sea of Stars is definitely one of my favorite games from the past year or so, so I'm excited to be able to play more of it. (In between Mario Kart World, of course.)

3. Our Little Tokyo store is right next to city hall, so things have been kind of rough down there the past couple days with the protests. Both yesterday and today the store had to close early so employees could get home safe. This morning there was a ton of graffiti (all varities of "fuck ICE") along the windows of one side of the building, but thankfully no actual damage to the store and the property manager was able to get it cleaned up easily.

4. Chloe also says "fuck ICE"!

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REC: Untitled Ouizzy Neighbor AU Gifset by emilee (Our Flag Means Death, Frenchie/Izzy Hands)

Fandom 50 #20

Untitled Ouizzy Neighbor AU by

derekstilinski
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death
Relationship: Frenchie/Izzy Hands
Medium: Gifset
Length: 3 gifs
Rating: SFW
My Bookmark Tags: romance, happy ending, getting together, constructed reality, au: modern, domesticity, nature

Description:

In the first gif, Izzy wanders out into a field and happens upon Frenchie, who's sitting alone and obviously having a bad time alone with his thoughts. In the second, the two men are each in their houses, looking out the window at each other's places. In the third, they've finally come together, Frenchie handing a wary Izzy a cup of tea.

I am such a sucker for constructed reality graphics and vids, and all the ways a little tactical harnessing of the Kuleshov effect can bring us the crossovers, AUs, and visual adaptations we crave. I've got a few from this same creator to rec, but I'm starting with this Neighbor AU that imagines a modern day Frenchie and Izzy living next door to each other in the country and catching each other's eye.

First off, I just love how it's put together, from the progression of running into each other by chance, then scoping out each other from their houses, to finally coming together for tea. But I also love how the choice of sources colours the story being told here. I'm pretty sure the Con O'Neill clips are from Vengeance Is Mine and the Joel Fry ones are from In the Earth. These are both harrowing movies where the actual characters are going through some awful things. I appreciate how those scenes get recontextualized here into something cozier that nonetheless paints a picture of both characters having gone through some rough times.

You can easily imagine that this modern Frenchie has just as many terrible things locked up in that little box in his head as his 18th century counterpart had, and that this Izzy has just been through an emotionally and/or physically traumatic breakup with Ed, and now here they are, a little bruised and cautious but finding some potential comfort and love in their own backyard.

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Currently reading/watching/making - Part I

I did many things this week… At least, that’s how it feels. I’ve been so busy with work, but I made progress on my craft project, and that makes me happy. I know I’m not an artist and my skills aren’t out of this world, but embroidery is an activity I really love. I read, finished a series I’d had on hold since December, and caught up on a few others from my list… though not all of them. I also kept up with my Chinese classes, went out for food and drinks with friends on Friday… and yeah, it did feel like I did a lot. There are days when I wish I could do everything, but it’s just not possible. I try not to sacrifice sleep to do everything I want to do, but sometimes my brain is too active and insomnia kicks in, so instead of just tossing and turning in bed, I read or watch stuff, though I try to keep that to a minimum.

But anyway, on to the update.

Currently making

Not-so-secret craft project – Yuri on Ice test for a future triptych…

Finished reading

SVSSS Vol. 2

Finished watching

El secreto del río (Mexican drama) – 8 episodes

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 3 – Chapter 15

Currently watching

Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) – Weekly, weekends – 33/49 episodes
My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 8/12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 7/12 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Thursdays – 3/10 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai drama) – Weekly, Mondays – 9/12 episodes
Leap Day (Thai drama) – Weekly, Tuesdays – 8/12 episodes
The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes

On hold

Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 4/24 episodes

Last weekend, I transferred the pattern onto the fabric. It’s a black cotton fabric that I love. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to dark fabrics, but there’s just something about them… I have some embroideries from almost a decade ago and I made them on black fabric. I think they have a certain charm. Maybe one of these days I’ll post pictures of them here. And last year, I made a gift for an event here on Dreamwidth… also using black fabric.

But before actually starting to embroider, I remembered there are some DMC threads that would be perfect for this project (on black fabric, though I think they’d look good on colored fabric too) and went looking for them. I found an online craft store in my country that sells them individually and was about to buy them (they’re in my cart), but before doing so, I wanted to check a local craft store that carries DMC threads, just in case, by some miracle, they had them. Since I was out on Friday anyway, I stopped by, but unfortunately, they didn’t have the specific series I wanted. So I’ll have to order them online… after payday.

Since they didn’t have what I needed, I bought some satin threads instead and started embroidering over the weekend. It’s still a test run, but at least I have a clearer idea of how I want the final project to look. Hopefully, I can pull it off, haha. I’ll share a photo of my progress… for accountability. I think I need to change the font of the text I want to add and maybe increase the size a bit, too.

Working on the embroidery let me finish (well, mostly listen to) El secreto del río, since it’s a Mexican series and I could follow along without needing to watch every second. The show is set in the Isthmus of Tehuantepec and follows two childhood friends who share a dark secret. SPOILER! *One of them is muxe, and the series also touches on muxe life.* I’ll admit, one reason I paused it was because it deals with transphobic violence, and I wasn’t in the best mental space to watch it without feeling triggered. There are painful and difficult moments, but in the end, I really liked it.

After finishing the series, I embroidered while listening to music playing through my beloved headphones: the Yuri on Ice OST, of course. No, the obsession hasn’t ended 😀

Ahhh, SVSSS Vol. 2 was so fun. There were some really interesting and hilarious moments. Well, at least I found them hilarious. SPOILERS! *I loved the reveal of Luo Binghe sleeping with Shen Qingqiu’s corpse when he thought his shizun was dead and was trying everything to bring him back… meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu was already inhabiting his magical mushroom body. Luo Binghe is unhinged, but ridiculously sentimental (affectionate, I love a weirdo) when it comes to his shizun. I’ll admit, that passage gave me ideas. I imagined Luo Binghe dressing and undressing Shen Qingqiu’s lifeless body in different outfits like a doll, combing his hair, being absurdly gentle and careful, even talking to him (kinda like Hable con ella).* I don’t know, those thoughts made me want to read fics about it, but I haven’t gotten around to searching for something that fits what I want… As for writing it myself? Please, I haven’t even written MDZS fic… and I do have ideas sometimes. But anyway, I finished Vol. 2 and already started Vol. 3. Maybe I’m regaining some of my reading stamina? Who knows… but my need to know what happens next is strong, and that always motivates me, haha.

I’m almost caught up with Winter Begonia again, and that makes me so happy. But oh gods… the last seven? eight? episodes have destroyed me. It’s such a wonderful series, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about the novel it’s adapted from. But beyond that… The visuals? The acting? Love it. I adore Shang Xirui more with each episode. I’d also love to embroider fanart of this series someday. There’s one of Shang Xirui’s opera costumes (not one of the more intricate ones) that I loved, and I think it’d make a beautiful piece.

I thought I’d have enough energy to finish this whole post, but I overestimated myself… my eyes are closing. I’ll write the rest tomorrow in a second part.