like a star, like a firefly

Oh, I can see that. She's been living an eternity like that, and the way the show suggests she may be older than she is in a sense doesn't help.

Good point. Yeah, that's actually how I see it too. Not wanting to go home until very late, letting Akio have his way with him, stomping down all his empathy because feeling was just too painful.

YES. Both sides were the asshole there, and when you learn Anthy's backstory and how she's been suffering all this time it makes both of them look even WORSE in hindsight. Yet at the same time they had no idea, and it was meant to be that way until Akio stepped up his game to manipulate Utena even further.

It annoys me when fandom sometimes likes to cheapen one of the most powerful moments in the show by acting like Utena never actually did anything wrong and totally had full respect for Anthy as a three-dimensional autonomous human being from the very very beginning.

It's because they're an official yuri couple and people want it to be pure romance and wholesomeness. Which...no, the entire point of them is their Official Couple Ordeal Syndrome in which it's not JUST outside forces fucking them over - it's Utena herself!