some of the most painful Utena episodes

[mikogalatea]

Episodes 31 and 32 still hurt. Poor Nanami.

I want to throw more bricks at Akio. I've got ep 33 next, so I'll want even more bricks for that. Bastard.

Comments

Re: [CW: rape, CSA, incest, all the typical Utena things]

[mikogalatea]

Too bad it's Akio, and Akio will take any excuse he can to touch a teenager. Seeing Utena shrink back from him before he kissed her in ep 30 was so uncomfortable.

(Seriously. Touga's body language in that scene says an awful lot, too, like he doesn't feel all that good about what he did to Nanami and he doesn't really want to be there. I think I might've had it right in my fanfic; Touga going to Akio here could've been an act of self-harm on some level.)

Yeah, I can see that. Part of me kind of wonders if, on an extremely twisted level that does not excuse what he did, he thought assaulting Nanami was better than some other things that could've happened instead -- like Akio raping Nanami himself, and/or Akio having Nanami find out that he does to Touga what she saw him do to Anthy. I actually saw a fanfic that touched on that, and it was a pretty good one too.

Nanami's love is so innocent at its core, but Touga isn't able to see love as anything innocent. :( If you ask me, he probably only thinks of their birth parents as traitors.

Re: [CW: rape, CSA, incest, all the typical Utena things]

[sarajayechan]

Exactly. D: Vanna iirc said on the forums that he likely didn't touch Wakaba because he needed her stamp of approval before he took Utena for a ride, which makes sense. He'll restrain himself only if it means he can get more later.

(...oh God. That makes a LOT of sense. In episode 25 Touga seemed okay with what he did to Saionji, or he was able to convince himself more that it was for the greater good. Nanami, though? Not so much. D: I still also believe those scenes with him and Akio were Akio rewarding him with dick for throwing people under the bus. And Touga chose to use it as punishment.)

Honestly? I can see it. Just like my fic where he raped Saionji to stop Akio from doing it, except in that case it was a clear-cut sadistic choice. In Nanami's case, Touga was more like "if I don't, he will, she might as well lose it to someone she loves"...but then she didn't want to and he was confused because what DID she mean by love, then?

Ten years later I realize their birth parents can't have been even decent people to sell their kids like that. I can see Nanami wondering about them and Touga telling her they're not worth it.

Re: [CW: rape, CSA, incest, all the typical Utena things]

[mikogalatea]

I swear, Akio taking a teenager out on a "date" and not assaulting them is like clearing a bar so low it's in the Earth's freaking core. He definitely made a deliberate choice in not doing too much with Wakaba.

Ep 25 hinted that Touga had misgivings about his whole thing with Akio, but he didn't seem to specifically regret what he pulled on Saionji -- or if he did, it wasn't to the same degree that he was implied to regret what he did to Nanami. There's a telling difference between the two scenes; the one in ep 25 had more symmetry, whereas the aftermath of Nanami's duel didn't have that and Akio ended up forcing symmetry by sitting on the bed behind Touga the way he did... followed by the silhouette shot, which suggests it wasn't just the symmetry that was forced in that scene. :(

I used to have thoughts about Nanami possibly wanting to find their birth parents after learning the truth, even if just to ask them why, but now I can't see her pushing the issue much or even at all. It's not like she or Touga owe anything to them. My old headcanon about the birth parents was that the father really was a cold-hearted bastard who had no problem selling his kids off to a paedophile for... whatever it was he gained from it, whereas the mother didn't want it to happen but was either too powerless or too weak-willed to stop it.

Re: [CW: rape, CSA, incest, all the typical Utena things]

[sarajayechan]

It really is.

Yep, I noticed and I saw it when I was gathering screenshots from ohtori.nu. Touga seemed more into his act in episode 25, less empty inside.

My old headcanon about the birth parents was that the father really was a cold-hearted bastard who had no problem selling his kids off to a paedophile for... whatever it was he gained from it, whereas the mother didn't want it to happen but was either too powerless or too weak-willed to stop it.

...that makes way too much sense. I always thought both parents were just awful people, but the mother not wanting to do it would make for even more tragedy. I have this fic idea where Touga or Nanami sees their birth mother without realizing it's her, and she recognizes them but they don't even look each other's way and the mother realizes maybe she shouldn't try to reach out.